Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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