Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize