I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
