Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Sext me about skeletons
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
