He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
