Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
