I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
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Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
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I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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