bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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