some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
