Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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