my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
