your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
