My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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