Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
