did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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