I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
