You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
