He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
