I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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