He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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