I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
