I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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