Me. At least after what I've been through.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
