there's paper in my vomit.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
