That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Your penis caused this!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
