i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
