i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
