i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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