i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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