You work out of a Hotel?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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