Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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