5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
barbara walters just said penis...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
