we have officially lost it.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Did we literally take a cab across the street
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bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
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Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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