He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
where does the pee come out of this thing
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
