lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
