Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
