I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize