Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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