Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
