Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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