We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
