Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
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literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
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This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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