i just made my gag reflex go away.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize