omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize