glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize