she looked like the before picture.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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