so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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