hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
