I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
