He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
