I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
