My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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