it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
