I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
