what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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