my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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