someone threw a dead crab at me
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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