He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We're too hungover to prance.
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