Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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