I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
