I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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