I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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