Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize